3. The gift that keeps on giving

with Mercia and Sophia
I'm visiting my first care home for this project in Lewisham and I am wondering what I will find there. I'm here to see Mercia, to talk to her about the Remembering Together sessions and her personalised art work which was made for her by author and personal biographer Sarah Lott. It's a book called All About Me.
First impressions of the care home are good, staff are polite and friendly and the corridors are clean and pleasant, it's got the feel of a hotel about it.  Sophie greets me at the communal front door and fills me in on what's been going on with her mum Mercia, since we last met. We walk and talk at the same time, passing several open doors where I can see elderly residents lying down, watching TV or just reading the paper, whilst in another room someone is having their hair done by one of the care staff.
Sophie explains that Mercia wasn't really managing in her flat on her own, she'd stopped going out as much to the local shops, she was losing her confidence and even her independence. It was a difficult decision for the family to move her into a care home and listening to Sophie, it sounds as if the past couple of months have been very challenging. But Mercia is happily settled now and being well cared for by staff, which is a relief to all. In addition, the home is closer to all the family, so potentially it's easier to see her mum on a more regular basis, rather than at her old flat which was in central London. 
​When I enter Mercia's room, she's sitting in her chair and she breaks into a lovely welcoming smile when she sees me.  She is looking very well, in fact better than when I last saw her, which I tell her. Her room is simple but there are lots of personal touches, family photos, her furniture from the flat and her own bits and bobs.
It's tricky for Mercia to recall the Remembering Together sessions and I wish I had brought some photos along to remind her. It's not obvious, but I can tell there has been a change since the last time we met. Sophie helps out with prompts to my questions, but we are both trying not to say, 'do you remember' too much, as we don't want to stress Mercia with an insensitive line of questions. Instead we chat about the sessions and Mercia joins in when she can.
I recall that Mercia was animated and lively during the Remembering Together sessions joining in whenever possible, so I'm interested to hear what they made of the reminiscence group. Sophie tells me, "It was a happy time, when Mum laughed and smiled a lot. At first we didn't know what to expect, but we were greeted like old friends every week and that really made a difference to Mum. You begin to see people you know and then you look forward to seeing them again. Positive stuff came out each week and I even heard new stories which I hadn't heard before!"
I can see that Mercia is reading her personal memory book and I ask if she could tell me what she thinks of it: "I love the book and I keep looking at it. I can't believe I did all these things, it seems like another world to me!" She smiles. "It's another world. I seem to have gone to so many places and I look at my younger self and I can't quite believe it!"
Sophie joins in, "The book is a constant source of interest and brings back a lot of memories each time she looks at it, she enjoys it again and again and again!!!"

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I thought it would be interesting to ask Sarah Lott to describe how she produced the memory book for Mercia and whether the family were involved. "I used memories and photos that we'd gathered during the sessions and wrote a simple and fun questionnaire for Sophie to complete and share with her mother.  I then wrote the book as a narrative, edited the photos and designed the pages and a hardback cover using publishing software and I called it All About Me because it's a Life Story book. The book is full of photos of Mercia and her family, together with memories and personal facts and stories which celebrate her life."
I am keen to understand from Sarah, what she would say were the particular challenges of making an artwork or this book using someone else's memories? "My main priority was to capture Mercia's wonderful personality and create something that she would enjoy reading and be proud of," Sarah tells me, "I also wanted something that the family would appreciate and that could be used by carers, as a source of reference and as a reminiscence tool with Mercia". 

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​Seeing Mercia so happily engrossed in her personal life story book, I can really see how this book works on many levels. As a constant source of interest, acting as a memory prompt for Mercia, as a reference tool and conversation aid for family and friends who are part of Mercia's personal history, and also for the carers to come to know and understand Mercia as a unique individual, even after Mercia has ceased to remember herself.
My thoughts are summed up by Sophie when she tells me, "The book completely occupies Mum and every time she looks at it, she is seeing it afresh as if it was the first time. It's the gift that keeps on giving and I am so glad we did it whilst we could!"