4. A place for life stories and remembering

with David and Vanessa

When I first met David and Vanessa at the Remembering Together reminiscence sessions and apprenticeship course run by Westminster Arts, I was struck by their open, gentle and friendly manner. So it is no surprise that I am warmly welcomed with broad smiles and natural cheerfulness into their lovely house, which is on a neat street near Ladbroke Grove. Vanessa asks about my journey and my family, as she puts the kettle on to make tea in their sunny kitchen.
I'm visiting today to ask some questions about their experience of the Remembering Together sessions and to take some photos of the personalised artwork which was made for them by one of the apprentices on the course. However I can already tell that we are going to have a good old natter as well! As with all my other visits, it is a delight to spend time at home together and my natural curiosity soon gets the better of me, as I find myself asking about certain things that catch my eye around their place. Vanessa and David are delighted to be asked and seem to enjoy sharing their precious memories with me.
Its something we've got used to doing together over the twelve weeks that I've got to know the couple, except now in their own home, there's more time to talk and so much I want to ask!
When we are settled with our tea, I ask them to tell me about what they thought of the Remembering Together sessions and what taking part had meant to them.
"It was a relaxing time with no burdens" says Vanessa, "It was very good to meet other people and to hear other carers talking about what they were finding hard, or easy ways to do things. You were able to say what you liked. The sessions were very enjoyable and it was nice to meet people together in a similar situation. The sessions made us feel more positive and we enjoyed going over our stories. I sometimes couldn't tell who had dementia and who didn't!"
Sadly David's own memory loss means that he can no longer recall very much about the sessions without Vanessa's gentle prompting. We look at the Storycomb art piece together which was made for the couple by Charlotte Overton-Hart. Amongst the hexagonal picture cards, each with an individual photograph on it from their lives, are some from the Remembering Together sessions. We select a few of these and lay them out in front of David on the kitchen table.

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​"Here's you and Vanessa getting married again on the week when we did wedding role play" I say. "And this one looks like that time where you were remembering your work as solicitor, during a role play about a courtroom story."
Slowly, shyly, David seems to remember. He picks another card up and scrutinizes the image, "I appear to be cooking in this one!" He says with delight.
I ask about them to tell me about the Storycomb artwork and how they use it. Vanessa explains. "It brings back so many memories of the things that happened long ago. It covers the whole of our lives and it's easy to look at and to find things because they are together in one place and not scattered around the house. Now I don't have to find them every time I want to look at them. The pictures that are enlarged show more detail than the originals and that helps David to see them and remember them with me!"

​When I spoke to Charlotte the maker of the Storycomb, I wanted to understand from her how she went about making the artwork.
"I spent a couple of days with David and Vanessa in their home. We rummaged through piles of photos together and I took some photos of David and Vanessa pottering at home: Vanessa making tea in a wonderful silver teapot, and David puffing on his pipe and reading a spot of Rudyard Kipling. We walked around the house and garden together and David and Vanessa pointed out items which might be of interest.

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​There is a very rich history on both sides of the family, so walking round was a real treat with plenty to explore. Vanessa found the hat she wore for her going away outfit on their wedding day, but we weren't able to find the bowler hat David wore to work. I was able to use photos from Remembering Together sessions, mixing in new memories with old, and David and Vanessa's three sons - Tim, Ed and Will - also very kindly sent across some photos by email. Once I had gathered the photos together I cut them into hexagons and laminated them. Finally I varnished a hexagonal wooden box for the Storycomb to live in."
I also wondered how Charlotte went about working with someone else's memories and what it was like representing this couple's life story? Charlotte explains:
"I wanted to give value to every chapter of David and Vanessa's life, without placing more value on any one chapter over another. I hoped that the Storycomb would give value to all life stages.
Making the Storycomb confirmed to me that working with people must be on their terms, and based on what matters to them, rather than imposing a set of categories. Without their story, there wouldn't be a Storycomb."

​Charlotte plans to stay in touch with David and Vanessa, through the Creative Befrienders programme run by Westminster Arts. Among other creative activities, she is hoping to add more hexagons to the Storycomb as they spend more time together and make new memories.
As for Vanessa and David, it was time for me to beon my way home. As I am leaving though, Vanessa tells me that having the chance to look back over their lives during the twelve weeks has made them think about their life together and this has made them feel that they have led interesting and fulfilling lives. She adds that the sessions have also made her think about writing up her stories for their children and grandchildren. I do hope she does!